I HATE IBMs (Ignorant Black Muthafu**as)

When I was a younger man and watched the following infamous Chris Rock stand-up performance clip called "Black People vs. Niggaz" I laughed my pants off but was somewhat embarrassed. I felt at the time that Chris Rock went a little too far in his condemnation of "lower class" black people.

I still feel now as I did then that white folks can't tell the difference between a normal everyday working educated black person and a black scumbag, but as I have gotten older, Chris Rock's message is ringing truer than ever before in my ears. So before I continue, take a look at Chris Rock's performance:



Done?

Good.

You can't deny that this is brilliant, funny stuff. It still makes me a little uncomfortable, but that is the mark of great art -- its supposed to make you think and reflect on the world.

In any case, I have grown weary of the kind of black folks that Chris Rock was trashing that clip. I have made a pact with myself never to call another black person a "nigga, nigger, etc." so I coin the phrase IBM -- which stands for Ignorant Black Muthafukka.

I find that this definition fits because they are ignorant (without knowledge of the world or self), they are black (sadly), and they are muthafukkas (just like Bernie Mac used to say -- 50 points to you if you catch that reference).

I hate IBMs with a PASSION. I hate them like Hitler hated Jews. I hate them like the Coyote hated the Roadrunner. I hate them like Itchy hates Scratchy. I think you get the point.

My hate stems from the fact that I grew up with working class and middle class blacks who went to good schools, never went to jail, read books, supported the arts, saw good movies, loved baseball, loved walks in the park with their dogs and lived the most wonderful and fulfilling lives you could imagine. Yet, now, almost everywhere I go, I no longer see those kinds of black people.

Its like some alien force swooped down and took 75% of all the normal black people away and left us with the lowest common demoninator. And I can't stand them. Lord, I really can't stand them.

IBMs are loud, obnoxious, illogical, immature and possess the largest sense of entitlement this side of Long Island (another 50 points if you get that reference). Let me give you an example:














I work at this ghetto ass mall called Baldwin Hills Crenshaw Shopping Center in Los Angeles. Its a side job I have at GameStop just to make ends meet while I work at the college and write my screenplays. Anyway, GameStop is one of the shittiest companies in the universe so never work there if you can help it.

GameStop has a policy where if you buy a used game you have approximately SEVEN DAYS to return it for a full refund. After that, we can't take it back unless its as a "trade-in" which is roughly 70% less than what was originally paid. This one IBM walked into the store and wanted to return an awful game. Usually, we have no problem doing returns as long as you are within the seven day span.

This IBM had the receipt and the date was 05/18/09. Today is 06/16/09. By all calculations, he was way out of the grace period. So instead of realizing he is wrong and walking out of the store, this IBM opens with a rant:

IBM: "Y'all didn't say nuffin' about that when I bought it."

Me: "On the top of the receipt is the name of the person who sold it to you. XXXXXX is the manager, I am sure he mentioned the return policy to you. If not, its right here on the receipt."

I showed him where the policy was CLEARLY printed on the receipt -- but he didn't seem like the type who likes printed words.

IBM: "Naw man, this is bullshit. Y'all didn't say nuffin' about this. This is bullshit man. Y'all be sellin' fucked up games and shit and then won't take them back."

Me: "How long did you have the game before you realized that it didn't work?"

IBM: "My son didn't play it for a month because he was punished."

WTF?

Me: "There's nothing I can do man."

Then this IBM proceeds to curse and become borderline threatening but what he didn't bargain for was the fact that I don't back down easily and its very hard to intimidate me so he eventually left after promising to "only shop at white stores from now on."

Note to readers: most IBMs are big talkers. They are used to people becoming intimidated by their bluster and bullcrap and try to get their way. The best thing to do is to continue to stick to your guns and they will walk away cursing and talking crap but no harm will come to you. This may not always be the case, but most often you'll be fine.

Getting back to the issue at hand, I am so tired of IBMs because they make the entire black race look like a bunch of uncultured street trash that complain endlessly about racism and don't do anything to contribute to society. IBMs have nothing of worth to say mainly because their brains are filled with pointless hedonistic, inarticulate new school hip-hop songs by Lil' Wayne.




















See that image? That's how a lot of white folks and recent immigrants see African-Americans. Think about that for a long moment. Think deeply about that. If you have half a brain, you should be alarmed and nausiated.

How do you recognize an IBM? Here's my guide:














A) IBMs will be wearing basketball jerseys and baseball caps that are color coordinated yet aren't fans of either team. IBMs make it hard for a black guy to be a fan of a baseball team because everybody will think you're wearing the hat to be cool.

B) IBMs dress like they're 15 years old even at the age of 50. There is nothing more obscene than seeing a grown ass black man with grey hair twisted up into cornrows. Its beyond atrocious.

C) IBMs never speak in complete sentences.












D) IBMs don't value educational achievement, this is why you will see an IBM buy their child $200 sneakers but don't own a set of encyclopedias in their home. Worse, the only reading materials in most IBM homes is a video game strategy guide or directions to a probation office.

E) IBMs love blaming everybody else if something doesn't go right - teachers, police, their parents, the mafia, Sony, Microsoft, NASA (wait, most IBMs don't know what NASA is) -- everybody but themselves. If their kids can't read or write, its the teacher's fault. If they get busted for selling crack to pregnant women, its the police's fault for arresting them.

F) IBMs never have a concept of a larger world. Your typical IBM won't leave their neighborhood for any reason. Ever. You won't meet an IBM if you go to the following places: Barnes & Noble, arthouse movie theatres, the planetarium (in fact, any museum whatsoever except for the travelling sneaker show), baseball games (except for Yankee Stadium) or your local library. IBMs don't like culture unless they see it on BET (which isn't even owned by black people anymore) or some godawful black TV show produced by Tyler Perry.














G) IBMs stand outside of their apartments or tenements or whatever for no reason in the middle of the day. I haven't stood outside of my house for more than 5 minutes since I was 15 years old. I usually have somewhere to go. Its called an agenda. I had a conversation about selling drugs just to make money for video games and sneakers. I always felt that if you are going to become a hustler, then hustle for a purpose like the Irish Mob and the Italian Mafia did and like the Armenians and the Mexicans are now. Make the money, launder it, rinse, repeat. IBMs stand on the corner all day to buy depreciating assets and never move up from that level. They advertise to undercover police where the action is whether they know it or not.

What makes IBMs particularly frustrating is that there are normal black people who defend them or -- worse -- idolize them as representing some kind of authentic "blackness." As if the ebb and flow of our community was tied to irresponsible morons with no sense of history or purpose. And this has caused unfathomable levels of suffering.

Single, intelligent, attractive and upwardly mobile black women love to date IBMs and then get treated like trash. These black women then go onto hate ALL black men as if we are all IBMs. Don't think so? Check your average internet dating site these days and you will find hundreds of black women only wanting to date white men and they have profiles that say things like "need a man with a job, who has a college degree and is on my level. White guys only."

I wish I could round up all the IBMs on earth and launch them into the sun. I'm serious. It would solve SO many problems.

Even Bill Cosby agrees with me and few years ago when he told the truth, people flipped out and made it seem like Bill was crazy or elitist. What Bill was saying was that black people need to get their shit together immediately or else we are going to swirl down the drain. Folks didn't want to hear the truth and made it sound like he was wrong.

I will leave you with what he said and let you reach you own conclusions. Take care.

B.

(http://www.eightcitiesmap.com/transcript_bc.htm)

"Ladies and gentlemen, these people set, they opened the doors, they gave us the right, and today, ladies and gentlemen, in our cities and public schools we have fifty percent drop out. In our own neighborhood, we have men in prison. No longer is a person embarrassed because they’re pregnant without a husband. No longer is a boy considered an embarrassment if he tries to run away from being the father of the unmarried child."

"50 percent drop out rate, I’m telling you, and people in jail, and women having children by five, six different men. Under what excuse, I want somebody to love me, and as soon as you have it, you forget to parent. Grandmother, mother, and great grandmother in the same room, raising children, and the child knows nothing about love or respect of any one of the three of them. All this child knows is “gimme, gimme, gimme.” These people want to buy the friendship of a child….and the child couldn’t care less. Those of us sitting out here who have gone on to some college or whatever we’ve done, we still fear our parents. And these people are not parenting. They’re buying things for the kid. $500 sneakers, for what? They won’t buy or spend $250 on Hooked on Phonics."

"Now look, I’m telling you. It’s not what they’re doing to us. It’s what we’re not doing. 50 percent drop out. Look, we’re raising our own ingrown immigrants. These people are fighting hard to be ignorant. There’s no English being spoken, and they’re walking and they’re angry. Oh God, they’re angry and they have pistols and they shoot and they do stupid things. And after they kill somebody, they don’t have a plan. Just murder somebody. Boom. Over what? A pizza? And then run to the poor cousin’s house."

Internet Personals Language Decoded

A very good female friend of mine called me the other night and asked me what the phrase "laid back" meant in relation to a person's character. I didn't understand what she meant so she explained that she had been looking at a bunch of male profiles at online dating sites and almost 95% of those ads had some variation on the following sentence:

"I am a nice, educated and laid back kind of guy."

She asked me WTF "laid back" meant and I told her its a catch-all phrase used to disarm women who think all guys want is a romp in the sack. Although it is true that all guys want is a romp in the sack from a chick they meet online, I wanted to give her the red flag words and phrases used by unscrupulous people on internet dating sites.

First, here are the definitions for "laid back":

Definition #1: Someone that is generally relaxed in most situations. Wears a lot of khakis, not up on latest fashions. Tends to be more involved than others in politics and world events.

Definition #2: Someone that is very lazy and confuses being laid back with not having goals, dreams or career plans. This is the person you want to avoid unless you enjoy watch ESPN or Gossip Girl reruns all night.

Definiton #3: A person who has no idea what is happening in the world and no ability to think critically. Doesn't like to think deeply about anything.

When you see laid back in a personals ad, just ask them what their definition of "laid back" is and if it is close to any of these three definitons, you owe me $5.00.

Now, here is the official decoder for personal adspeak.

1) "Not looking for anything serious, just want to see what's out there." = I am looking to get laid by as many people as possible because this is the most attention I have ever gotten from the opposite sex in my entire life and I want to see what it feels like to be desired by a diverse group of people.

2) "Just got out of a serious relationship, just want to be friends first." = I am secretly bitter about my last relationship and I don't trust anybody. However, I still have physical and emotional needs and I can use meaningless sex and pointless dates to simulutaneously numb the pain and gain a bit of vengeance by being an @$$hole to this new person who doesn't deserve it.

3) "I am independent." = I want to be congratulated for doing what most people have done for centuries a.k.a. supporting oneself.

4) "I am tired of losers, I want to meet a nice guy/girl." = I might be the reason I keep driving people away, but I will blame others endlessly until I find someone I can manipulate.

5) "I would like to meet someone intelligent for good conversation." = I tend to keep dating vapid, shallow types because I am vapid and shallow. I just want to meet someone smart enough to agree with my ideas.

6) "I don't like B.S. and I don't deal with B.S. so be real when you talk to me." = I am actually full of $h!t but I have no idea how to be classy about it so I confuse being rude with being honest. I can't handle people being honest with me so whenever someone says something that hits close to home I push them away and congratulate myself for being "real" enough to recognize other people being fake.

7) "Looking for Mr./Mrs. Right Now." = I am a slut. Proceed at your own risk.

8) "Looking for a serious relationship." = I am very tired of one night stands and even though I get laid regularly, these people aren't that attractive so I am going to see if i can find someone who is cute enough and tolerable enough to screw regularly but I don't want to feel like a scumbag so I will claim to want a serious relationship.

9) "We all have our preferences." = I am racist.

10) "I am a simple man/woman who knows what I want." = I have no idea what I want and I have a slew of unrealistic expectations for whomever answers this personal ad.

B.

Why American Students Suck at Everything!

As a former NYC public school teacher, not a day went by where I didn't want to stick my head into a giant wood chipper and end it all because of the mind-numbing stupidity and lack of educational desire shown by my students over the years.

No matter what we did as teachers, the end result was the same -- lowering standards, extending deadlines and making concessions for students who most likely belonged in a job training center as opposed to a balanced liberal arts education.

For years, people have pointed fingers at the reasons why our students don't perform on the level of other developed countries. Some have said overcrowded classrooms, street gang infiltration, lazy or sex-crazed instructors, poor tax districts, moronic principals and lack of up-to-date educational materials as causes for the drop in student achievement over the years. And while many of these are real problems that do have a direct effect on a child's ability to learn, these are not the root issues affecting American kids today.

In previous generations, American schools were a lot worse in terms of size and access to materials, and students not only learned well, but they retained knowledge and applied it to their lives. In addition, students with substandard materials in substandard schools worked TWICE AS HARD in order to get good grades and prepare themselves for the future (i.e. any African-American student born south of Maryland).

From 1910-1970, recent non-English speaking immigrants and their children also managed to not only learn English, but excel in the realms of business and investment.

So what the hell happened?

Yea, Bush's ridiculous No Child Left Behind "program" did tremendous damage to the educational system by focusing too much on standardized testing and not enough on emphasizing the teaching of critical thinking skills. I can't stress that enough.

However, NCLB was an encapsulation of everything wrong with the American educational system and not the genesis of the problem. There are several real world reasons why students suck today and most of it has nothing to do with government. What I am about to say will not be PC or endearing or encouraging. I will speak on what I have seen personally as a teacher from my years in a horrible Bronx neighborhood school and in a halfway decent Harlem area school.

Feel free to call me whatever you like :)

1) LOUSY PARENTS:

It all starts at home. I would have a godawful student who cursed all the time, was disrespectful, couldn't read nor write, but acted like they were perfect. I would wonder how the hell could anyone possibly turn out that way and then Parent/Teacher Night would arrive and so would the answer to my questions.

There are some VERY horrible parents out there and nothing can be done about that. There are people who have zero morals and have no concept of conscience nor an idea of the nature of "right vs. wrong."

I know people will hate me for saying this, but all these single mothers and their bad choices in men have caused an educational apocalypse in this country (and YES, I am aware that there are reasons why a woman can end up alone with a child, but from what I have seen over the years, a lot of those women decided to have unprotected sex with the local drug dealer/thug, and when she got pregnant, he disappeared). You really need two parents in the house or at least an educational support network of people who understand the need for a child to have a basic knowledge of math, science, history and English (the subject and the language).

Why is this necessary?

A few years back, it was determined that out of all five NYC boroughs, Queens had some of the best test scores in the state. People were running around trying to find out the secret of why Queens had better scores in general, especially compared to the other boroughs and the fact that Queens has perhaps the largest community of diverse immigrant groups living in one area in the United States.

Over time, people figured out it was because there was someone at home (usually a grandmother, aunt, or stay-at-home mom) when the child got in from school who immediately demanded that the kid start studying or doing homework instead of getting online or playing video games. The importance of parental involvement in a child's educational development can not be overestimated.

Many of these families are immigrant families who might not collectively be skilled in the english language, but do understand the need for educational excellence. There is a lesson to be learned here; investing in a child's education early will pay massive dividends in the future. The era of allowing TV to raise a child has reaped a devastating crop of academic disinterest and an acceptance of failure.














2) OVER-RELIANCE ON ELECTRONIC MEDIA:

This generation of kids has spent too much time watching TV, playing video games, texting each other on PDAs instead of talking to their friends in person while spending money to buy a worthless gadget that becomes out of style 30 days after it is purchased.
















Think about it, this generation of kids will never know what it is like to spend a summer afternoon running around in a park, or getting hurt on the monkey bars at a playground, or climbing trees and busting their @$$es only to get right up and try to climb the tree again. To me, that is a great tragedy.




















I have had hundreds of parents ask me why their kids can't read, study or pay attention to anything for long periods of time, and whenever I ask them how much TV did the child watch as a baby, they unanimously responded that the kid would sit in front of a TV for hours as a toddler. And therein lies the issue.

Young children should not be exposed to a lot of TV watching at all, let alone be left in front of a TV for hours on end. In those early years of a child's development, they need to be held by humans, spoken to by humans and have social interactions with their peers. None of this can be accomplished by having them sit in front of a TV for hours on end.

Check out what a study from the University of Michigan had to say about the matter:

"Children of all ages are constantly learning new things. The first 2 years of life are especially important in the growth and development of your child's brain. During this time, children need good, positive interaction with other children and adults. Too much television can negatively affect early brain development. This is especially true at younger ages, when learning to talk and play with others is so important."

And further...

• TV viewing may replace activities that we know help with school performance, such as reading, doing homework, pursuing hobbies, and getting enough sleep.
• One research study found that TV's effects on education were long term. The study found that watching TV as a child affected educational achievement at age 26. Watching more TV in childhood increased chances of dropping out of school and decreased chances of getting a college degree, even after controlling for confounding factors [24].
• Watching TV at age four was one factor found to be associated with bullying in grade school [25].

In other words, DON'T LET YOUNG KIDS WATCH TV BECAUSE IT WILL ROYALLY $%#% UP THEIR CHANCES IN SCHOOL!

The abundance of electronic media in our lives makes this a difficult challenge but a necessary step in increasing the academic potential of our students. When a kid watches TV, its a one-way communication process that does not properly stimulate the academically-centered portions of the brain and it builds an expectation in the child that they need to be constantly entertained rather than engaged.

I used to have students become offended because I would demand that they read their textbooks or do homework because this took time away from their socializing or video game playing. How dare I suggest that they stop texting in my classroom or pay attention to what I have to say when there is a major state standardized test approaching?

3) IDIOTIC ADMINISTRATORS -

In the six years I spent as a public school teacher, I believe I only knew one administrator who understood that the way to fix a school is through discipline first, then educational excellence. If you have kids cutting classes and partying in the hallways, having sex in the auditorium, vandalizing property (including teacher's cars), stealing property and generally being a massive pain in the @$$, then you can't possibly teach anyone anything. And by the way, those events I just mentioned were commonplace at the Bronx school I where I began my teaching career.















If the leader of the school community -- the Principal -- is a complete moron then how can you expect the students to follow a positive example? The best principals I ever had growing up where the ones I was terrified of and not ones I considered a friend. I was never on speaking terms with my principal and the idea of going to the principal's office was something to be dreaded, not a place where I went to relax and hang out.


















I also watched students cut class on the sofas in front of the principal's office in one school. I had no idea what to do or say to get them back into class because when the kids aren't afraid of the principal or their authority, it undercuts the teacher's ability to maintain control. Sadly, educational discipline was always about fear and guess what, it always worked.

When school administrators take the buddy-buddy approach to leadership, it works for a few students in the short term, but in the long stretch, the message gets out that the "Principal is soft" and then the students bend the rules and modify their behavior to fit the principal's touchy-feely style of leadership. Regardless of the student's intellectual abilities, many kids nowadays know how to manipulate the system to protect themselves from getting expelled for doing things that would have gotten me blacklisted from any school system forever.

I had caught one student ripping a painting off the wall in my school. I actually had a photograph of him doing it on my cell phone. When we had the meeting with his mother, she tried to defend his actions, claiming that we had no proof of him doing it until I produced the pitcure of the incident.

Mind you, his mom was not a rocket scientst but the system has mutated into a creature that suggests that all teachers are molesters who can not be taken at their word. Administrators allowed a bunch of non-teacher lawyers to become "child advocates" who are supposed to protect the interests of families from any wrongdoing by teachers and principals. This was created in reaction to past years when black students were mistreated by school districts and had no one to defend them against being expelled for no reasons other than malicious racial plots.















However, it has turned into a tool to be used by lousy parents who feel that teachers are "picking on" their bastard kids. At a time when principals should have stood up to be counted, many of them (who themselves were former advocates), embraced this shift in educational accountability and allowed their schools to be micro-managed by faceless bureaucrats who had never spent a single millisecond teaching children in a classroom environment.

When you add all of this up, you get an entire generation of hedonistic students incapable of understanding that planning for the future is the only way to ensure that one exists. I got out of teaching because I felt like I was trying to plug a damn with a stick of chewing gum. Even though I know I touched and changed lives, the big picture was awful and getting worse.

I honestly don't know what else can be done to change all of this unless concerned teachers continue to build charter school programs and alter the way we currently overplan for standardized testing.

B.

SHADOWLAW: THE SERIAL NOVEL is available for sale...

http://stores.lulu.com/brandoneaston

In a Catholic-controlled future society, a disgraced soldier discovers a secret pact between the government he was sworn to protect and a powerful global Vampire cult.

In a universe of faith based on lies, Rictor Caesaro must find the truth before all of mankind is enslaved and destroyed.

Welcome to the world of Shadowlaw, the first in a series of novels in the new genre of Vampire-Mech: supernatural action mixed with men who pilot Mech suits, giant robotic suits of armor!

NOTE: This is a SERIALIZED NOVEL, only the first few chapters are available with some other information in the back of this episode. It is a better idea to DOWNLOAD the story for now.

For those who want to get part of the Shadowlaw story in advance, I am offering the first few chapters of the novel for sale in a SERIALIZED NOVEL FORMAT -- like what Stephen King did with the GREEN MILE novellas. It is far too expensive for print, so if you wish to purchase it, please use the DOWNLOAD option.

Thanks in advance!

B.

10 REASONS WHY POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL IS ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME

I love those damn POLICE ACADEMY movies. Its not that I think police are that funny, but there is something about those ridiculous movies that you can't hate.

When I speak of Police Academy, I am only speaking of the first four of them. Police Academy 5 through 8 were stupid like Paris Hilton stupid. Stupid like Ozzy Osbourne and Paris Hilton having a kid together stupid.

I swear to god, one of those movies had them fighting with the Russian army.

Anyways, on to the list:

10) The big, fat Black guy they called "House."

9) Skateboarding legend and video game license whore Tony Hawk being one of the guys in the skateboarding sequence.

8) That cool ass skateboarding sequence.



7) David Spade's earliest film role. (F%$ck that guy, but I know some people like him.)

6) "Mama's little baby likes shortening bread... hah" If you saw the movie, you know what I am talking about.

5) Yet another awesome appearance of the Blue Oyster bar.



4) Proctor being placed in the middle of a football field while inside of a Port-a-potty.

3) Bobcat Goldwaithe and that wierd blonde chick running towards each other while the song "It doesn't have to be that way" by the Blow Monkeys is playing. Again, those who have seen it, know what I talking about.

2) The Leslie Easterbrook pool scene - Proof that there is a sweet man in Heaven named the Lord Jesus Christ. That woman is an act of God.









And the #1 reason Police Academy 4 is one of the greatest movies of all time:

1) YAMA YAMA YAMA Scene!

Watch it here:

Neat little interview...

I will get back to complaining tomorrow... for now, check out this cool interview done by the folks at BLACK AUTHORS SHOWCASE:

http://blackauthors.ning.com/forum/topics/scifihorror-comics-brandon

B.

LOS ANGELES OBSERVATIONS... a.k.a. Beverly Hills Crop

Well, I did it.

I really did move from NYC to Los Angeles. I never thought I would, but by God I got out of a very comfortable existence on the East coast to come back to California to give my dreams a solid shot.

A dream of becoming a working Hollywood screenwriter. To those who don't understand why someone would want to do that, consider this: people don't read books, analyze scientific data for fun, or write extensive memoirs contemplating the nature of humanity in the universe.
















No, they watch TV and movies. A lot of television and a whole lot of movies. If you want to control Americans, you control and create what they watch. By nature, humans are visually-oriented and often have trouble trying to connect invisible abstract terms and ideas. Therefore, you can get a person to believe ANYTHING they see if you show it to them enough times.















Regardless of what people might tell you, writers are the creative backbone of most popular entertainment. Without writers there would be no movies, TV, radio, music, video games, newspapers, or magazines. Not to mention how this would directly affect the worlds of business and law.

The beauty of being a writer is that you can transmit your own personal views on the world to the masses and hide it within an entertaining story. People are most susceptible to suggestion whenever they feel like being entertained. Trust me.


















This is an incredible form of power. And to top it all off with a big, fat, sweet, juicy cherry, you get paid obscene amounts of money to do it.

And they claim that there is no justice in the world. heheheheheh

I never claimed to be the noblest guy on Earth.

There are major differences between Los Angeles and NYC. Of course that goes without saying, but it often feels like being on an entirely other planet. Or realistically, a whole other country. It is in times like these that you notice how big this country really is.

However, there are some striking differences that are worthy of noting:

a) Cynics: Everybody here in Los Angeles seems to think you're the biggest liar they ever met. It seems like there is very little faith or trust amongst people here. Perhaps the pursuit of money and power pervents the human soul to such a point where they lose a sense of what it feels like to be stepped on or oppressed?






















Being a former history teacher means that you have to always be ready to back up your claims with direct historical evidence so that you appear to be an expert. I usually have my facts and back up ready whenever someone wishes to challenge my words as being contrived. Those who walk around assuming everyone else is a liar usually have little to share with the world anyway.

b) Tribalism: For a place that prides itself on its open-minded, laid back, non-conformist liberal attitudes, Los Angeles is one of the most racially segregated places I have seen outside of Boston, Massachusetts (and anyone who knows me knows how I feel about the people of Massachusetts).

In NYC, they have a Chinatown that surrounds Little Italy, and is bordered by the federal governmental buildings in lower Manhattan. In Los Angeles they have: Koreatown, Little Tokyo, Chinatown, Little Armenia (like, where the f@#k did all these Armenians come from? Is that country the size of India or something?), and Filipinotown.



The neighborhoods of Watts, Compton, Inglewood, and Long Beach should be called Africatown, and East LA should really be called Big Mexico.

Its understandable that people would want to live with their own kind, its been happening since the beginning of time. I just believe that its not a bad thing to learn about other cultures because you can learn more about yourself in the process. I know that sounds like a greeting card, but it also happens to be the truth.

c) Beautiful, but bizarre women: LA has some of the most beautiful women you will ever see in your lifetime. Some of them are as wacky as they are gorgeous though, and that makes it a lot less fun.

From observation, the women here are very distant and manipulative. They don't want you to get close to them, but they crave the attention anyway. Thats like some deep weirdo psychological vampirism that I couldn't even begin to analyze.
























I listen to their conversations and they remind me of people who don't get out of the house much, they don't seem to KNOW anything. They have no spiritual depth nor sense of adventure or curiousity. To them, the United States of America is the drive from their apartment to the freeways, to work, and back home. And I guess you could throw in whatever lousy, sparkly dive they call a nightclub in there for good measure.

I am not talking about ALL the women of Los Angeles, just the ones who seem to stumble into your way because they are wearing high heels they saw on Sex and the City.

I am tired... I am going to do a part two to this real soon.

B.

Random Thoughts...

Every now and then, when I am stuck on the #2 train having to listen to loud and obnoxious Dominican teenagers screaming about sexual positions, my mind tends to drift to simpler times and quieter memories.

And other times I just have nonsense going through my head:

1) Do the people who work in adult bookstores judge people who shop there? Like really, who the $#% are they to judge anyone? They WORK at an adult bookstore.

2) Most people who grew up in NYC really need to get out of here ASAP. Having such a skewed perspective on life can make it easy for a person to lose sight of common sense and patience.

3) I am slowly coming to realize that the average person in America truly is a complete moron outside of whatever field they have narrowly encased themselves. People have zero knowledge of anything that isn't centered around foolishness. It's scary.

4) An addendum to #3, I saw "Buzz" Aldrin on the street near 13th and Broadway in Manhattan. For those who don't know, Aldrin was the SECOND HUMAN BEING to walk on the moon. EVER. For those who don't know... that is a MAJOR ACHIEVEMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY REGARDLESS OF RACE, CLASS, GENDER, CREED, ORIENTATION. ETC.

















I was so shocked and excited to meet him that I was walking around on a cloud of happiness, which in NYC, immediately gets tainted with pollution. I went into a local store and said to the girl at the register, "Hey, you know, Buzz Aldrin is right outside!"

She looked at me like I just said, "I had sexual relations with a red donkey riding on the back of Barbara Streisand."

The girl said ,"who?"

"Buzz Aldrin"

Blank stare.

"The astronaut," I said.

Blank stare.

"The second person to ever walk on the moon," I said.

"Oh," she replied, "He was an astronaut?"

















Several things happened in that situation: a) the girl was a motherf%#ing moron, b) the space program just doesn't matter anymore, c) history teachers suck ass these days (hey, I am a history teacher, I know how these people think), d) I get too excited about things that actually matter.

5) I am thinking I need to move to some state or country where the average citizen reads books and newspapers, knows what is happening in the world, votes regularly, and can name at least 5 American presidents. I can't beat the morons, but I absolutely refuse to join them.

B.

GEORGE CARLIN: THE LAST BIT OF TRUTH JUST DIED

If you don't understand why I titled this entry the way that I did, please watch this 7-min clip and you will understand just about everything worth knowing in this world:



God Bless You Carlin. Heaven needs a real ass kicker these days.

B.

THINGS I LEARNED BY WATCHING FERRIS BUELLER

You know I was watching Ferris Bueller the other day and I noticed a lot of weird $h!t in that film. At the age of 34, I am realizing that even though there is a lot of cool stuff from the 1980s that I adore, a lot of it was ridiculous.

For example, in the world of John Hughes movies, black people travel around the city in packs waiting to hear music blaring from a loudspeaker so they can do a syncopated dance number that they have practiced for months.

If you don't believe me, check out the video above and wait til about 0:57 seconds in. I don't even know if that is racist or not because on one hand, that group of black folks look like they are having a blast; but on the other hand, don't these people have jobs or families to go to?

Or maybe they are all one big family like the Osmonds or the Kardashians and they make money walking around as one big urban dance troupe.

Just a thought.

B.

My New Podcast

Hello everyone.

This is the first episode of the new podcast called WRITING FOR ROOKIES.

Here, I will give advice, opinions, news, and helpful links for those who wish to break into the world of fiction writing. This podcast will be mostly about breaking into the science-fiction genre and the comic book industry.

However, anyone who seeks clear and uncomplicated advice on how to jumpstart a writing career will need to listen to this show on a regular basis.

I can not promise to have all the answers, just the right ones for you to get started from scratch.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at SHADOWLAWCOMIC@GMAIL.COM

HERE IT IS:

http://writingforrookies.podcastpeople.com/posts/21591

2008. Damn.

My first question is "where are the flying cars?"

I mean, damn, its 2008.

Wow 2008.

I haven't posted anything in a long time because I really had nothing to say.

People who know me know how I feel on most topics, and those who don't might not care. So why do it? ahahaahah

Generally, there are two things I am most concerned about right now:

1) The destruction of the U.S. Constitution by the Bush Administration.

2) The horrible state of the U.S. educational system. To say its a mess would be an understatement.

I will get into a much deeper explanation of that stuff another time. Right now, I just hope for the best. I have changed a lot in the last year, moving forward into your 30s is such an important time for a person for the simple fact you begin to reconcile certain things in a more healthy way.

For example, these are lessons you learn when you pass 32 years of age:

1) Family sucks. Sometimes, you have to forgive them. Sometimes.
2) Anger gets nothing done. Except when a person really needs to be put in their place for their own good.
3) Your 20's were basically a waste of time. 10 years spent rejecting wisdom that you realize you should have taken seriously by the time you're 30.
4) Don't settle for a relationship just so you're not alone. That's when you let people in your life you normally wouldn't.
5) Be yourself, that way, the people who don't like you won't like you. Don't waste all your time pretending to be cool so a bunch of fake people can pretend they like you. In the long term, honest tension is better than fake peace.
6) About 70% of the people you meet will assume the worst of you unless you're a white male.
7) The Boston Red Sox are the new Evil Empire in baseball.

Accepting those simple truths helped me understand a lot of things. It also helped me to deal with people on a much simpler level. When I accepted that I am not the type who will get along with everyone, then I was able to find a center within myself. I spent many years wondering why I didn't "click" with most people I met, and I often thought negatively upon myself.

Was I not charming enough? Not "cool" enough? Not interesting enough? Not attractive enough? I asked myself that 1 billion times over the years. Each time I found another negative chamber in my heart and figured that caused folks to back off or be dismissive.

I got a newsflash recently that is a cliche, but an important life lesson at the same time: Not everyone is meant to be your friend.

So now I go into each new situation with an open heart and a critical mind. I don't seek to create new enemies; I simply wish to encourage honest and truly diverse people to enter my life.

PEACE
B.

Bonds and American Racism

Barry Bonds is a jerk.

There I said it.

But he is also one of the greatest baseball players on Earth. Past and present.

However, a large majority of white baseball fans seem to feel that he is the worst human alive because he is under the suspicion of having used steroids. One of the problems here is that the majority of players believed to have been using steroids were PITCHERS, not batters.

What everyone seems to forget is that we ALL knew people were doing steroids and we didn't care because we got to see 50+ home run seasons from a variety of players across the league. So why all the hate for Barry?

Some feel that he sucks for charging for autographs. That does suck.

Some feel that he sucks for cheating on his wives and having mistresses all over the place. Yea, that's kind of crappy too.

Barry is not the best person, but he is a fantastic player. And that is what counts here. It seems that some white folks are okay with jackass white players as long as they created milestones.

Ty Cobb was a vicious racist.

Babe Ruth was a druggie and alcoholic that was rumored to have a violent side.

The Yawkey family (owners of the Red Sox for much of the last century) deliberately kept the team all-white even when it was clear that having black players might have improved the team.

But the Yawkeys are still revered in Boston and Ruth and Cobb are like baseball gods.
We all know that black males operate with a double-standard. You can be successful as long as you smile all the time and appear to be humble.

Don't grandstand.

Don't celebrate in the end-zone.

Don't do spinning dunks in mid-air.

Just do your damn job and keep the seats filled. Bonds does that in great numbers. People will pay for expensive seats just to be close enough to the field to yell at him. That's power.

But Barry doesn't eat humble pie. He has a bunch of white women on the side. He doesn't kiss ass. He doesn't play the games the media want him to play. And worse, he just broke one of the most hallowed records in sports history.

Just like Henry Aaron received death threats for breaking Ruth's record, Bonds is dealing with a character assassination through the media. He doesn't help matters by not being "Wil Smith" if you catch my drift.

In closing, I wonder if the same people who threatened Aaron are like the same guys who now "cherish" his record?

B.

JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT: IRAQ HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH 9/11

Yet people are still running around saying he did.

Are we this stupid as a country?

B.

REAL $H!T YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT

While much of our country is obsessed with the celebrity crackwhore of the week, there is another incredibly huge problem facing everyone single person living within the borders of our country (legally or otherwise).

America is falling apart. Literally.

Actually the INFRASTRUCTURE of our society is slowing falling apart (sewers, power plants, roads, bridges, public works, etc.). I had heard about this recently but never did any real research because -- like most of us -- I had assumed that it wouldn't affect me.

That was, until I read this article:

http://www.alternet.org/columnists/story/44851/

FDR put America to work building courthouses and dams, planting windbreaks and arbors, creating music and plays--jewels that are still with us. Ike, a fiscal conservative, saw the need to launch the Interstate Highway System. Lyndon Johnson fought for crucial investments in hospitals, schools, water systems, and parks.

From the early 1950s into the 1970s, total public spending on America's physical plant (including money put up by local, state, and federal agencies) amounted to about 3% of our Gross Domestic Product. In the 1980s and 1990s, however, this investment in the public good fell victim to posturing budget whackers and dropped well below 2% of our GDP--a cut of more than a one third.

Then as if that wasn't enough:

• Road and bridge conditions all across the country aren't just a mess--they're deadly. ASCE reports that bad and congested roads are a hidden tax that runs us $54 billion a year in car/truck repairs and excess operating costs, forces us to spend an average of 47 hours a year stuck in traffic (burning 2.3 billion gallons of gasoline in our idling vehicles), and--worst of all-- causes some 13,000 highway deaths each year. Bridges, too, are a threat; ASCE finds that 27% of America's spans are now structurally deficient or functionally obsolete, requiring $9.4 billion every year for the next 20 years to repair the deficiencies.

The bursting of even a small dam can be a disaster. We regularly drive over dams, but we can't see the internal structures, so we don't give dam safety any thought-- until a dam fails. Then the TV has saturation coverage of the issue-- but soon it disappears again. Since 1998, the number of unsafe dams in the U.S. has risen by a third to more than 3,500, with the number of "high-hazard" dams up by 1,000. The American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) reports that $10.1 billion is needed over the next 12 years just to fix dams that are in such critical shape they pose a direct risk to human life.

So in other words, we are in deep poop the next time something major happens, like... I dunno... a thunderstorm.














Bush & Co. refuse to spend the money on rebuilding our national superstructure for the upcoming population boom as well as to just maintain it for the 300 million currently living in the U.S.

Imagine if all that stuff failed at once?

The toilet flushes but fills with the backlog of waste from the broken sewer lines.

You run out side, and the sidewalk cracks in half because of overuse.

You look for police, but you can't see because the street lights went out.

You try to get out of town but the one bridge that takes you to a major highway has fallen into the river.

Living in NYC, the idea of any of these things happening on a major level is terrifying to say the least. Even those living in small town America needs running water and power. Maybe we should all start getting serious as a society and call our representatives.

Go ahead, I wait for you to finish watching American Idol.

B.

DATING IN NYC: THE MINEFIELD OF LUNACY

Every now and then, I am reminded why I never, ever, ever want to find myself in the dating world in NYC. Between my clueless and single male friends, and my ridiculously annoying and self-destructive female friends, I get to hear and see some of the most atrocious behavior imaginable in terms of dating without getting my hands dirty.

From time to time, I am asked to give some advice to my male friends on who and what to avoid. One of my friends desperately needs this advice because he hasn't had sex since the late 90s (no, I am not kidding).

Much of what I am going to say comes from my own horrible experiences with women from a few years back that I sometimes have nightmares about. Fellas, this is what you need to look out for when on a date and then avoid like the proverbial plague.

INSANE TYPES OF WOMEN IN NYC DATING:

1) THE NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME CHICKS: Women who have recently gotten out of a bad marriage/relationship/booty call arrangement and critically over-analyze every thing you do with her. The problem is that it backfires almost immediately because a decent guy (or an @$$hole too) will quickly become frustrated with her endless circular reasoning and double-questioning of his intent and so on.












These women are usually recognized by their constant asking if she is "doing the right thing" or remarking repeatedly "I haven't dated in a long time... blah blah blah." She doesn't understand that the absolute best thing she could do is shut the hell up and listen and trust her gut when meeting a new man.

2) THE REGRETTERS: These are women who had very colorful, exciting but ultimately self-nullifying sexual experiences in the past and regret it deeply on some layered subconscious level. So, whenever they meet a "decent" man who is "worth it" they pull back on physical contact almost to the point of being celibate. In their twisted reasoning, making this new guy wait for sex will somehow atone for the reckless sexual abandon of her past.












What she DOESN'T get is that she has created a kind of sexual marathon now for this new guy. He is no longer interested in her, but he will wait it out until he can sex her, and then its all over. And the cycle begins again. Yea, it sucks that there is such a double-standard for men and women in regards to casual sex. But you ask any self-respecting father what kind of daughter he wants?

Just because we see Lindsay Blohan, Whore Hilton, and Titney Spears acting like stone cold sluts doesn't make it cool. The lesson here is that women should always be careful of whom they sleep with. Giving it away just to fit in is so 90s.

3) THE DO-NOTHINGS: This is my most despised subset of insane NYC women. These are the ladies who have profiles online suggesting that any man who responds to them must have: a good job, an education, a car, live alone, no kids, etc.













However, upon closer inspection of their profiles you will notice that other than their looks, they don't bring anything else to the table. THEY aren't educated. THEY have no career whatsoever or have stupid drone jobs like "medical billing assistant" (WTF is medical billing? Don't they have insurance companies and computers for that sort of thing? I also don't understand the point of Human Resources...anyway).

These women usually live in the worst neighborhoods in the city, or have bizarre housing/roommate situations that will perplex the hell outta you. They also have kids. Very bad kids. And they don't like any kind of advice on how to handle their bastard children (like talking their the kid's teachers, checking his homework, turning off the cable box and videogames).

Avoid these women like a diseased, drunk child molester at a Catholic summer camp.

4) EMO GIRLS: I think this says it all...


















B.

NEW SHADOWLAW AD

This is the newest as for my long delayed comic book series called SHADOWLAW.

It is the story of a disgraced soldier who ends up in a concentration camp that turns out to be a feeding center for a race of powerful vampires.

My incredible artist, Scott Kester, added in a giant robot/mecha element (that I had always explained to potential artists but none of them could pull it off) and we have created something that I describe as a cross between VAMPIRE HUNTER D and MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM.

Check out the "raw" image as well...




















B.

REBUILD OF EVANGELION TRAILER

The REBUILD OF EVANGELION is a 4-movie series that will "retell" the Evangelion series again, but without all the pseudo-paranormal-sexual-psychological posturing. All that aside, it is simply one of the greatest anime series of all time.

This trailer just premiered in Japan and is set for a September 1st release. This of course means that I will go down to Chinatown in NYC and have it on September 3rd. It looks amazing for a redux.

For more info on the series, check out this FAQ SITE.

Have fun,

B.

Some people need to burn in HELL.

Hey gang... I know its been a while since my last post... but I have been ridiculously busy with my comic series SHADOWLAW and teaching and a bunch of other things called life issues.

I missed the Don Imus thing and I had a lot to say about that, but I will come back to that another time.

I also didn't post my pics from the East Coast Black Age of Comics Convention in Philly. I did a workshop about writing and so on. That will also come later.

Right now I am a little pissed off about the whole Paris Hilton thing. People are defending her like this b--ch is Mother Theresa or something.

Let me break it down this way -- how many innocent lives are destroyed each year by people driving while under the influence of alcohol?

How many innocent lives are destroyed each year by people driving while under the influence of drugs?

Now, how many of those people who were driving while drunk and killed people have been given many chances to do the same thing repeatedly?

Granted, Paris Hilton didn't kill anyone (yet) with her drunk and druggie antics. But do you believe that I or you or anyone you know would have been given repeated slaps on the wrist for driving drunk?

This isn't about just her "violation" of legal probationary protocol, this is more about the fact that people like her run around truly believing that the law does not apply to them because of their wealth. She is a symbol of everything that is wrong about America's obsession with money and status.

She brings nothing humane or intelligent to the world despite her resources and fame. If anything, she shows the world that rich, dumb, spoiled blonde girls are worshipped by American culture.

Her going to jail shows many people, including those dense enough to defend her antics, that eventually, the law will get you. Especially when YOU DO THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN without remorse or common sense.

Hilton, Spears, and Lohan have all been seen repeatedly under the influence of drugs and alcohol in public, and somewhere along the line, someone thought that was cool.

Guess what, its not cool. I miss the days when stars/celebs acted like they had class. Even though Hollywood has long been rife with scandals, I doubt you would have ever seen a picture of Audrey Hepburn's private parts as she got out of a car, or pics of Betty Davis snorting coke in a bathroom stall.

Not to say these people didn't do this stuff, but Jesus, have some dignity.

Paris deserves jail for many reasons in my opinion, but for more than anything, she broke the law (a clear set of laws regarding drugs and driving) on more than one occassion despite being given repeated chances to NOT DO IT AGAIN.

I am sorry, I have no patience or sympathy for a billionaire princess who has had every chance become an intelligent and focused member of society but chooses to be a peice of unrepentant garbage.

She had the unmitigated gall to shout "This isn't fair!" as she was being led back to jail.

Try asking American workers in small towns whether or not it was fair to have their jobs move to 3rd world countries because the CEOs wanted to improve their profit margins.

Try asking children being sold into sexual slavery worldwide whether or not it was fair to have their bodies and spirits destroyed by a system of greed and lust out of their control.

Try asking a hard-working kid in the inner-city who never broke a single law in their lives was it fair to get shot because their families couldn't afford to live in an area that wasn't gang infested.

Try asking school teachers who get paid next to nothing whether or not its fair to try to educate American kids with meager resources and a government whose priorities focus on test taking rather than wholistic learning and life skills?

See?

There are things much more important than this inhuman little spoiled piece of filth whose law-breaking ways have finally caught up with her.

I am pissed at myself for even wasting time writing about her.


B.

Check out AfroNerd Radio

I just found a really cool blog online called AfroNerd Radio.

Here is their official description:

"Welcome to Afronerd! A new and needed web sanctuary for people of color with intellectual and artistic pursuits. In this blog we will be addressing interesting and varied subjects, i.e. current national/world affairs, culture, science, religion, politics, entertainment and literature(including graphic novels a/k/a comic books.....yes comics)."

This just was too much for me to ignore, so I contacted them, and within a few hours, I found myself being interviewed on AfroNerd Radio live show.

We talked about the State of Black Men in 2007. Great conversation. The brothas are moderate conservatives, a little further to the political right than myself, but I adore good conversations, so I had a total blast. It has been far too long since I had a good intellectual debate, and I look forward to chatting with those brothas again really soon.

Listen to them here:

AFRONERD RADIO -- I am on the April 1st show.

Pass the word, lets get this to be a big podcast!

B